7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone (Malavika Varadan)

The explanation of how to create a conversation with almost anyone is presented here. But before the details, keep in mind that in order to make a conversation, you need to always carry yourself in enthusiasm, positivity, and full of energy in order to create a better athmosphere. 

So, here are 7 little tricks you can employ: 

1. The first word flood gates. in every conversation, the beginning probably is the hardest. the words that you want to utter kinda stuck in the throat. Are you nervous? doubt? may be. dont think about it, just say what you want to say. a hi, hey hello, etc. make a simple move. this way give your target the confirmation that you are available for having a conversation. First word will open the gate to enter a meaningful conversation. so, say it and everything will flow. 

2. Skip the small talk. instead of wasting time asking how are you, its better to jump directly into personal questions. dont be affraid. you will suprise by knowing the fact that people are willingly to share after you are asking. ex: " ah interesting name, is there any story behind it?..blabla"

3. Find the "me too"s. its funny to start a conversation with a debate. because nothing kills the conversation other that negativity. in your first time, it is better to make an effort in finding what make you and your target have in common. it will ease the conversation because both of you are now in the same side. share it!

4. Pay a unique compliment. people will probably forget about what you do, what you say, but they would never forget about how you make them feel. be generous and give someone a nice, full compliment. But you should be really carefull with "compliment immunity". certain people are too often to hear certain compliment so when you say the same word, it would never work. ex, a beautiful model might be immune to the word "beautiful" due to the fact that she heard it for twenty four seven. stay away from that and try to construct a unique and genuine thing about your target. No lying just uncover the true beauty of it. 

5. Ask for an opinion. everyone has opinions and want them to be heard and everybody wants a validations. so go and ask for an opinion and that will open up the two-way streets, the real conversation begin. avoid to aksing an opinion on something very difficult, it looks like almost intimidating. Just generic issue. 

6. Be present. when you ask your target to speak up, listen. listen to understand not to reply. be really in that conversation. keep your eye on them, make eye contact. show that you are there and listening. just be there. 

7. Name, place, animal, things. if possible, remember as much detail as possible about your target. their name, their animal, their place, their favorite drink, blabla. it will make them feel so important and valued. remeber the detail and repeat it back to them. 

Here are seven ways how to make a conversation alot more easier. happy reading. 

 

How to Have A Better Conversation

Here are ten ways to create a better conversation ( Celeste Headlee`s Presentation):

1.  Be presents. be in that moment. if you dont like with the conversation, just walk out. avoid tobe in in half in and half out. be focus and enjoy. 

2. Better not to be a pontificate person. Having opinion is good but be an open-minded. let people argue, push back, rebutt, or even counter act it. It help you find the new insight and justification toward the issue. It is boring to have a pundit is very boring. and make sure it is never be you. always bury in your mind that in every conversation, there have to be something new to learn. everty person is an expert in something. let them share.  Adam Scoct Pett ( A famous therapist) said that true listening requires a setting  aside of oneself, including but not limited to personal opinion. 

3. Better to use open-ended question. instead of asking "are you okay?" which as you guess the answer might be "yes or no, why dont you say "how do you feel?" "what happend?" which the answer might be elaborated. let them describe it, they know what happened. too complicated question will only get a very simple question. people only will focus on "keyword". keep the question simple and short yet sufficient. 

4. Be with the flow. when your partner speak, let the idea comes to your mind and go out of your mind. give your respond sufficiently. avoid the question that out of nowhere. sometimes, people just forget what is the previous one and stop listening just because they got something new in their head. avoid that. it will cause you to be irresponsible with the question you have asked before. never stop listening. again, be focus. stories and ideas are gonna come to you.  let them come and let them go. dont worry about running out of something to say. you are smart. 

5.  Better to say "I dont know" if you dont know. be really aware about what you are saying. talk should not be cheap. 

6. Better not equate your experience with them. you probably think that the similar story come the same to you. no, never. what they feel might be totally different with how we perceive it. for eaxmple, if they talk of losing family member, dont start to talk about the same thing, it will never be the same. better not to. if they complain about their job, dont start to tell how you really hate your job. it will never be the same. conversation is not a promotional opportunity. 

7. Try not to repeat yourself. its really condescending and boring. when you have a point to make, no need to rephrase it and say it over and over. dont do that

8. Stay out of the weeds. frankly people dont really pay attention to the details like year, date, name etc. they just care about you. what make you and them in common. so leave the detail out.

9. This is the most important point to take care of. listen. there are so many professional emphasizing the importance of listening. Buddha said (pharaprased) if you open your mounth, you are not listening. Yes, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone. but if you can`t do that, you are not in conversations. it is just two peole shouting out barely relating sentences in the same place. it is said that we are mostly listening not to understand but to reply.

10.  Be brief. " a conversation is like a miniskirt. short enough to retain the interest but long enough to cover the subject"

Remember, everyone is interesting. they carry something wonderful within their mind. dig it through good conversationand you are going to be awesome. shut your mouth and open your mind.